Personas

Ever since I can remember I have operated under the assumption that something else is going on underneath the surface level of things. I work(ed) to penetrate beyond the superficial and into the dynamics of a (not-so-)hidden landscape.

Everyone has and maintains a persona, whose character is essentially mandated by socio-political self-interests, as a socio-political expression of the anima, which is itself an expression of the blind Will extended into the realm of possibility via DNA-information-distribution. Thus, the persona you interact with as a result of any coerced socio-political contract is not a true representation of that person's deepest qualities, but only a co-modified expression thereof, edited and 'fixed' to suit the interests being pursued (social, political, economic).

My persona is on auto-pilot and no one really affects it outside of blood and like-minded doubters. I don't know if this signals a disconnect from the Anima, or if it simply is an imbalance of social energy.

My persona has no hooks on it, like a pop-song that just isn't catchy. Why? Has no time been spent cultivating it? I cannot latch onto and enjoy the collective activities of persona, whose joy attains in that o-so-superficial delight, mouthing empty pleasantries and masking negative energy underneath euphemistic semantics and forced smiles. I always find myself digging th rough the surface, through the persona's actions and into the Anima, of which those actions are an indirect, socio-political expression.

There is a war of the Self--the Anima cannot hide from me. Personas do not cover-up the anima for anyone who cares to see, they only compartmentalize and categorize it beyond any of its unique or idiosyncratic properties.

In every expression, an ulterior expression which contains the first-level expression but is also much broader and more honest, aimed true.

I see social dynamics and they are locked inside a pattern that does not follow from true understanding and empathy, but only from competitive egos, fear and institutional propaganda. People only feel free to act in a way that promotes an the institutional Absolute...a fiction.

The thing of it is, I see through this power-play, and what results is that I must doubt everything, simply because everything is not as it appears; I have lost any sense of trust for anything outside my own judgment & understanding ... I must reconcile the tension between all-is-not-as-it-seems, and the fact that appearances (via sensual input) are the only thing we have to go by...what decodes it?